Friday, June 30, 2006

Life updates

Things have been pretty busy lately. Not suprsing why i fell sick today. After all, what can you expect when you only slept for 3 hours for the past 3 days? And during the times you are awake, you practically work non-stop. Even a machine or robot would break down after working like this.

At least there are good things that have happened though. I have been put into creative alliance in UAN, whereby I will learn about backstage staff and artistemanagement and so on. Truth be known, its not something that I am too familiar with. But one has to start some somewhere right? After all, I will be dealing with creative stuff when I start schooling in september. Might as well get a headstart. To me, its a golden opportunity for me to learn on the job experience in creative directing. Plus, this would help me open up another door of career opportunity in future. One has to make himself more marketable right?

Tommorow's the start of the new class. I can't wait to see what Elle and the others have to offer. I am quite sure that I will not leave tomorrow's creative alliance class empty handed. Any way I will update this page again when i return tomorrow. :P

Thursday, June 15, 2006

My thoughts









Sometimes, it just takes one person to spoil your entire day. Like my boss for instance. I was just having my nap in my bunk when he called my hp, demanding to see me in his office. Before I know, I was screwed by him for almost half an hour. And it was not even 8am in the morning. Kinda sucky isn't it? I've been doing so many stuff for him and yet he doesn't even appreciate it. Not even a simple word of "Thank You". Instead what i got was scoldings, scoldings and more scoldings..... This sucks. Been like that for the past 1 week.

True, my stuff may not be up to HIS standard, but that doesn't give him a reason to keep scolding me and directing all sorts of swear words and curses at me. After all, I did put in my effort to do the tasks for it. My friends know it, God knows it. Fine, since he does not appreciate my help, I'll not do anything to help him anymore. After all, why bother helping someone who doesn't even appreciate ymy help? I'd rather use that time and effort to do more meaningful stuff or at least on someone who would appreciate my kindess. Godwilling, I believe I will be able to find that place where people can appreciate me for who I am and the things I do.

People are always asking me "Mel, when are you going to find a girlfriend?" I'd always answer them "I'm trying to "fish" one." This gets pretty annoying at times. True, I have been single for many years....... Not that I can't find a girlfriend, but things were always not in my favour...... Those that I aimed were either attached, totally had no feelings for me, don't want to get into BGR and the list just goes on......... Or worse, they pretend to like you, but end up cheating you of your feelings and money before dumping you.......

Many times I would ask the Lord "What on earth have I done to deserve being alone without a companion?" If this was a retribution because of something I'd done, then I think I've paid more than enough for it. While I may look cheerful, happy go-lucky and carefree on the surface, deep down I am actually sad and lonely at times. When I am sad, I'd sing a song of love, depending on what song comes to mind. Or I'd go to the seaside. The tranquility of the sea and the melody of the songs would soothe and comfort me......giving me encouragement and hope for the future.

I don't ask for much in a relationship. So long as my companion is faithful and honest with me, be understanding and remains contactable, thats all I need. I don't claim that I can give everything and anything. But what I guarantee I will give is "Faithfullness, love, understanding, care and finally a close companion who will always be there in both times of joy and sorrow."

Some people may feel that I am talking nonsence or that I am being too naive or hypocritical. If they want to think that way, let them do so. After all, its me. I have the right to feel what I want to feel, to do what I want to do and to believe what I want to believe. Who has the right to stop me? Do I care? Of course not! Why should I let the comments of others influence my feelings and way of thinking? If I were to do that, I'd be no different from a puppet. Sheesh.... Godwilling, I too believe that I will find that "person", that companion who will undertand, compliment and treasure me for who I am one day......Amen

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Just some complains....... cheesy









Things are getting busier now the workload and so on..... Finally the constellation experience schedule is out. Thank God the timing is quite favourable. But I still have to miss some of the lessons due to exercises and night training. Well, its not like I WANT to miss those classes. I don't have a choice at times. It's just the way things are. After all, what can you expect when you are working in a place where you have to be dressed in green all the day long? You have to even sacrifice your OWN personal time for a stupid exercise that require you to stay in camp......

I'll have to find some ways to "siam" AKA dodge as many arrows as possible in futre so as to keep my time free. That way, I'll have more time to spend at UAN learning and getting to know people. Perhaps even earning some extra cash as well. Hohohoho

One of these days I'll quit and leave the freaking SAF aka "Serve and F... off". Pardon me for my language...... The day will come in 2 years time. This is what I will do "Take off my rank, throw it on the floor and shout "ORD LOH!!!!!!"
A place thats holding me back is off little use to me. I have to find a place where I can really have a sense of belonging... A place where I can really shine. Seem to have found one, but is it really there? Its still too early. Not much messages from my friends lately. Kinda boring man...... Hope to receive some smses from some pretty girls..... provided that they are EVER thinking of me in the first place.... Sheesh

Friends, tell me what would you do if were me? If you have a boss that keeps breathing down your neck and demanding that you finish His stuff even though you yourself are so damn freaking busy? Or that you keep getting arrows of tasks fired at you from unknown archers who seem to delight in shooting you? Would you up a shield to block those arrows? Will you dodge the arrows like Neo in matrix or will you just accept all the arrows? I leave it to you guys to answer...... >------>>>

Sunday, June 11, 2006

First BLOG of the day

My first BLOG. Don't mind me for being crappy. Monday, supposed to be the new day.... I am supposed to feel refreshed and energetic. But yet throughout the whole morning I was sleeping in classs....very energetic indeed..... But at least the bad incidents and worries of the past one week is over. I completed the freaking lesson plans "arrowed" to me by my Boss in camp (Pooi!!!!). Managed to clear up my room for disposal (what the heck am i talking???) Managed to perform my songs on saturday at UAN without much problems (Thank God for that!)

Anyway, last saturday was one of the happiest days in my life. I could feel that I have a sense of purpose and belonging. Seems like after such a long time of wandering and seeking, I finally found a place where I can call my "second home" away from home in UAN. Here, the people are so friendly and I can really be myself. The crappy and talkative Melrichard that everyone knows. Anyway, the singers were great and I could tell everyone put in alot of effort in the performance. I believe that we can do much better if we more time to prepare though..... Mama G is really capable in being able to organise this event. Hope to be as capable as her one day. :)

Kangrui, Sally, Xuanwei, Esther, Xavier and Anne are great singers. Look forward to future performances with them. Guess what? I sang "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" by Elton John. How i wish so much that "she" was there.... But even if "She" was there to watch me perform, so what? Can she feel it? I seriously doubt so. At the most, she'll only say my singing is good.... Ahhh....screw it....why the heck should i care abt someone who don't even half appreciate the things I have done for her? Probably, I am now at the back of her head or I don't even exist at all. This is so crappy. No sense pining for her or crying over her.... Is that the ultimate fate of all "nice" guys like girls that they can't get? Friends, I leave it to you to answer that.....

I'll not bother about that for now. Let's see what will happen in days to come. I got new goals at hand, new objectives to fufill, new people to know (ahem!).....hahahaha!!!! Alliance Audition coming up this saturday. I'll make sure I ACE it!!!! Whoever who are viewing this now, take care and God Bless....